
It's one of those songs that catches your ear--her cool, low, non-urgent voice makes the song very singable, and my humming has turned to singing as I've listened to the song more closely. I was surprised to realize that this was a song about following the deepest desires of one's heart.
Do it, now, you know who you are
You feel it in your heart and you're burning with ambition
But first, wait, won't get it on a plate
You're gonna have to work for it harder an’ harder
And I know, ‘cause I've been there before
Knocking on the doors with rejection [rejection]
And you'll see, ‘cause if it's meant to be
Nothing can compare to deserving your dreams
This has become an anthem for me, both for my discernment process in particular and for my life in general. The trouble I've discovered with intentional listening is that I often listen through the voices I have heard before, and often the most powerful voices from my past have shut me down.
Patience, now, frustration’s in the air
And people who don't care well it's gonna get you down
And you'll, fall, yes you will hit a wall
But get back on your feet an’ you'll be stronger and smarter
And I know, ‘cause I've been there before
Knocking down the doors won't take no for an answer
And you'll see, ‘cause if it's meant to be
Nothing can compare to deserving your dreams
It turns out that it was usually the unpowerful voices--the voices who had little if any influence over my opportunities--that urged and whispered and cheered me on, naming my gifts in truth and freedom. As I listen to the prophetic sung words of Jem, I find that the power in the voices of my life is shifting.
Don't be embarrassed
Don't be afraid
Don't let your dreams slip away
It's determination and using your gift
And everybody has a gift
Never give up
Never believe the hype
Trust your instincts and most importantly
You've got nothing to lose
So just go for it
The great challenge of my life, at age 32, is to speak with the conviction of my heart without holding back for fear of anything, whether it's fear of being misunderstood, fear of being perceived as arrogant, or fear of being regarded as simply wrong. In order to embrace my conviction, I've had to let go of my ego's desire to manage everyone's image of me and simply present myself and my call--my heart's deepest, most life-giving, energizing desire--as I understand them in their fullness. The conviction of my heart bears a truth that is greater than power.
It's amazing, it's amazing
All that you can do
It's amazing, makes my heart sing
Now it's up to you
As I continue to listen and speak in my discernment circle, I bring my whole self to the conversation with the intention of being fully seen--by others, by God, and by me. The hardest questions have invited new clarity; the easiest questions have affirmed how much work I've already done to hear God's call for my life.
As I seek to balance the voices that invite deeper questioning and voices that deeply affirm, how do I hold all the voices in tension with the longing that God has planted deep within me, which only I can speak?